The claim that love and hate exist simultaneously is a more difficult case to explain; here we need to understand how two such divergent attitudes can be directed at the same person at the same time. A woman may say that she dearly loves her partner in general but hates him because he of his dishonesty. Accordingly, people do say something like: "
I love and hate you at the same time." In this kind of attitude the profound positive and negative evaluations are directed at different aspects of the person. In a similar vein, an unmarried person in an extra-marital relationship might love the married person deeply, while also hating the beloved for preferring to maintain the bond with the spouse. Likewise, we may hate someone because we love him and are unable to free ourselves of our love for him, or because this love is not reciprocated.
It is interesting to note that our desire for exclusivity arises in romantic love but not in hate. On the contrary, in hate we want to see our negative attitude shared by others. It seems natural that we want to share our negative fortune with others while wanting to keep the positive part merely to ourselves. In positive emotions, when we are happy, we are more open to being attentive to other people, but we guard the source of our
happiness more.
To sum up: hating the one we love is possible from a logical point of view, as it does not necessarily involve a contradiction. This phenomenon, however, entails profound emotional dissonance, which in turn reduces the number of instances of such cases.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/200804/hating-the-one-you-love-i-hate-you-i-love-you
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